How to deal with a partner who is too controlling with money

You share a home together. At times, even a bank account. So a money conversation should seem simple enough. However, a money conversations with a spouse or loved one can be difficult, especially if they are control freaks. It doesn’t have to be this way.

You are a strong and capable woman. So have a heart-to-heart about these control issues. Get to the root cause, quite often such controlling behaviour has less to do with a lack of trust and more to do with anxiety. Such fears, could from your partner’s past experiences. He may have come from a family with not enough money or seen his family squander their good fortune. With such a controlling behaviour he may not know that he is hurting his own relationship. Understand where these issues are coming from and manage it.

Relationships are tough to maintain. After all, experiences and relationships don’t just develop overnight – it takes time and effort. This may not be an easy exercise, but communication will play a huge part in how you deal with it. We have a few suggestions, to help in the conversation.

Make a list

All great planning begins with a list. So, ensure both of you start working together as one.It is important for you both to see where the money is going and how you'll can do better. Begin by taking into account where you’ll are spending your typical household expenses, like groceries, bills, etc. Next, make a list of your priorities, such as your child’s education, investments, emergency fund, loans, etc. After you have made a list, cap the amount each one of you’ll spend.

Keep it short and simple

Once your list is ready, plan a day or an hour for you’ll to discuss your expenditure. Set guidelines and iron out all the nitty gritty, so money quarrels don’t just pop up out of the blue. Set a time, and don’t leave the room until you’ll agree. At the same time, keep the conversation short and focused. Have these conversations every two weeks or in a month. This will ensure you both are on the same page.

You’ve got to compromise somewhere

Just like every arrangement in the past between the two of you’ll, you need to go into the conversation knowing that you will need to compromise somewhere. For instance, your partner may be averse to the notion that you need to invest your money more aggressively in stocks. This could be a problem. Find a solution that suits both your needs.

Speak up, before it’s too late

Be proactive and speak up and ask for a catch up in regards to the money being spent. If you believe there is a problem, then let your partner know and it could be for the smallest of things like too much money spent on going out, or a premium account of Netflix when a simple account could do.

Talk about your feelings

There may be days, where you feel stressed and feel you have failed to achieve your plan. Your partners may appear to have no sympathy, but it is important to talk about your feelings. You could say something like “I know you don’t want to appear controlling, but I feel you are treating me like a child, instead of your partner.” Remember to have an open ear when he makes a similar mistake.